Who I am Today

Who I am Today

originally posted 5/14/12

This isn’t one of my funny blog posts today. This one is serious. I have been holding off in writing it until I thought it would be a good time, but there is never a good time. I have a secret. A secret that I am scared is going to cause me to lose so many people that I love and care about. But I know some of my posts have been seen and I think it only fair you hear it from me. I don’t believe in God. It’s plain and simple. I have spent 28 years praying, worshiping, and serving a God that doesn’t seem to exist. And when I decided to really get down and read the bible, it just seemed to convince me more that there can’t be a God. What caused me down this road? A lot of things. But a big one is my relationship with Michael. I guess that is another secret. Michael and I are technically separated, though we still live together. The only reason we aren’t divorced is our financial situation, my work schedule, and the girls. For years I have been the good Christian housewife and mother. And what did it get me? Nothing, except an empty relationship with a man who doesn’t truly care about me. So where do we go from here? I have no freakin clue truthfully. I love each and one of you on my FB. But, I know how deep some of your beliefs are. And I am afraid some of you won’t want to accept me or love me the same. And that terrifies and scares me, but at the same time, I can’t deny how I feel or believe. So I will have to wait and see how you all react. I do ask that this not become a flame or hate war. I will understand if you unfriend me. I do believe that people should be able to believe what they want, even if I don’t agree with you. You are all my friends, and I hope that our friendships will survive this. Thank you for listening to me.

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