Is this thing on?

Originally posted 5/24/11

So I am stepping away from my other blog for a moment. Well, I guess it’s been a year since I have posted there so I have ALREADY stepped away. But I do plan on going back to that but I want to keep that flowing so I will add to here instead. For those who don’t know I love to write. I am not a great writer nor an elegant one. Heck, I sometimes end up using different words because I can’t spell others. But ever since I first read “A Wrinkle in Time” I have always imagined that I would someday write books like that. That someday, another little girl would be huddled in her room, drinking in a wonderful fantasy world that I had created. Oh, how I had my life planned out. I would own a modest manor house in Scotland, set next to a tranquil lake and a small woods. It would be there I would write these wonderful novels, surrounded by this peaceful yet magical land. I would never be married (though I would have lovers) and would never have children. I wanted to be free to do what I wanted. Fast forward 10 years and I still live in KS in a 3 bedroom rented house, married and a stay at home mom to 2 girls. Never went to college, never seen the ocean, and never have traveled outside the U.S.A. But despite all of this I still love to write. And because of all of this, I think I have to write. 3 and half years later I am still trying to come to terms I am a stay at home mom. That all of my dreams have been put on hold and that I don’t know if I will ever be able to dig them out again. So I am doing this blog. It will be what I am going through. I don’t know exactly what I will write and I doubt it will ever have a theme or a flow. And it may never, ever be read. But I can sit here, watching Ari play and pretend, for a moment, that I don’t have spit up on my shirt and that I am the funny, witty, sophisticated woman that I have always wanted to be.

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