I shall call him squishy and he shall be mine

I shall call him squishy and he shall be mine

Originally posted 6/2/11

My high school reunion is around the corner and it has me looking at me. Oh not my life, personality or where I am at in life, I mean it has me looking at the mirror and asking WTF happened!!!! I know I remember a time when my stomach was small and didn’t look like a road map of New York City. Ahh I remember the first time I went shopping after Ari. It ended with me locked in a dressing room of Christopher Banks sobbing my eyes out because the only clothes that fit me were “old lady” clothes (I am sorry to anyone I may offend who shops there. It was the hormones talking) This happened after I went to J.C. Pennys and tried on a shirt from the junior section. (I had always shopped in the juniors section) After doing a dance in the dressing room that probably looked like I was having a seizure I asked Michael what he thought. You know what that man said??? No…not just no but no, you are too old for it. Too old. I was 25 bloody years old. It my anger I marched my self to Christopher Banks and tried on clothes. The fact that they didn’t require the seizure dance to put on made me realize that Michael was right. Thus, the mental breakdown with the poor saleslady trying her best to calm me down. So now, a little over 3 months since I have had to have Kira, I am no where close to my weight lose goals. And will I ever be? I don’t have the discipline to go on a diet. I love food way to much and of course, I love my wine and beer. Though I do try to eat somewhat healthy. And nor do I ever plan on being a person who lives at the gym. Though for the next 2 weeks I do plan on going everyday. So I think my new goal will be just loving me. That as long as I have energy to keep up with Ari and Kira I think I will be fine. And I will just have to accept that parts of me are just…well, squishy.

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